Fresh
by Lina Scriven
Summary: Terra's revels in her new life of being normal. (Under construction.)


It was relieving how easily people could be manipulated. I mean, it was terrifying. But for me, in this moment of time, it was everything I needed.

When I became human again, when who knows what pulled me out of a stone cocoon, I was incapable of fleeing Jump City. I had done it to so many other times in other places. Whenever I made a mistake, I just flew away on a boulder to the next unsuspecting town. But Jump- Jump was the city I crumbled then saved. It was the city where I fell in love and then had my heart crushed. It was where I betrayed and was forgiven. It was where I died and was resurrected. It was my Jerusalem.

But I wasn't coming back as Terra. Not only could I bare to face the Titans again, but my new human state lacked my powers. I changed back to my real name, Tara, but changed my last name to the ever-normal Smith. Markov gave way to another identity I could no longer keep.

I enrolled in school and got a part time job. It was easy, I had gotten good at feigning my citizenship and had the right forged papers. I had learned a thing or two on my own, but Slade taught me the importance of keeping my secret alias away from my public self. "Act the part and they won't ask questions," he used to tell me.

It worked like a charm. No one even recognized the girl who tortured their city. I was just the new girl in class who worked at Starbucks afterwards.

School, job, all I needed left was a roof over my head. This was harder, you need adult things like a credit score to rent a decent place. Luckily, I learned to be resourceful. I splurged on my coffee earnings to buy a 24-hour gym membership and between late nights their and school's early start, I didn't need a place to stay. I was backpacking through town.

No, I wasn't sleeping at night. The memories of my last life- the electric shocks through my nervous system, the physical and mental beat down of Slade's betrayal, the stone literally crushing my bones until death- they did not let me relax. I worked until close, left the place with a double shot, headed to the gym to spend hours working out and hiding in the locker room doing homework, before going to school at sunrise to catch a nap before first period. It was all I needed for now.

I couldn't survive this way, I wasn't oblivious to the toll my insomnia and full days of school and work were putting on me. It was a temporary fix though. I was saving the rest of my earnings for my own place in the shadier part of town that only asked for cash up front. Otherwise, everything was in place. I was laying low in school after a girl said I looked familiar, but I did sit with a few girls at lunch. I did my homework, but didn't raise my hand. I took the required classes and didn't worry about doing anything more than passing. My guidance counselor wanted me to join a club so I said I would and then didn't. I didn't want to be seen, but I wanted to be in school. As time passed, so would everyone's wounds. Soon, no one would be able to place my face as a murderer, but as a girl they sat next to in class. I would just be Tara. Not a princess, not a hero, not a villain. I could be whoever I wanted.

Then, Beast Boy recognized me. His entrance surprised me; the news said they were on a worldwide mission. But I was composed. I knew my spiel.

Act the part and they won't ask questions.

And I did. I played the part. I played the girl who wasn't Terra for days, almost giving in. He begged, he pleaded, and I ached. I ached to be back in the Titans' home, for a moment feeling secure, feeling loved, feeling happy. But those feelings, back then they were brief. I knew one day I would attempt to kill them. I knew my love for them couldn't last.

When he left, I missed my test. I went to my guidance counselor in tears saying my boyfriend left me. That I cheated on him and it was a mistake. I loved him and knew it was too late.

I went to my counselor half because I knew it meant she could reschedule my test. But more so, I knew that loving someone and hurting them was normal. You didn't have to know I was a supervillain to get the story. My counselor could let me cry, could let me express my sadness, my rage, my frustration. I did not have to worry I would create a volcano. She listened, gave me tissues, and once I calmed down, I felt _free_. She asked if I wanted to go home for the day, but I said no. I wanted to go to class. I wanted to be normal: to have boy problems, to go to class, to feel my emotions with no life-altering consequences.

Beast Boy let me go. I didn't have to act a part anymore.


End file.
